7 Ways to Trek Like a Supermodel
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Imagine hiking with a Vogue cover girl and not realizing it.
As if our trek around the Annapurna Circuit in Nepal wasn’t interesting enough, we accomplished it with Australian supermodel Gemma Ward close at hand most of the way.
Unfortunately, the rumors regarding Gemma’s identity didn’t begin circulating until the final days of the trek. “I think she’s a model. I’m sure I’ve seen her on Fashion TV,” echoed among the young Israelis - fresh from military service - trekking with us. [Aside: Fashion TV piped into Israeli military barracks?!]
And we only truly believed them when we connected to the internet and found the photo above. By then it was too late to play alpine paparazzi. But we did get a peek.
The prevailing supermodel image is one of air-walking stick-thinness and a perfect runway hip sway. However, our first glimpse of Gemma on the second day of our trek was anything but all that. She appeared rather - um - sturdy, and laden - huffing and puffing, red-faced, her camera dangling from her neck as she tried to keep pace with her guide.
In other words, she was quite like the rest of us.
Trekking is a great equalizer between mortals like us and supermodels like Gemma. We shared the same outhouses (Dan literally ran into her on two occasions), slept in the same bug-ridden lodges, ate the same repetitive food (although she did splurge for yak curry when the rest of us were too cheap), experienced the same altitude anxieties and faced the same prospect of being trampled by yaks.
However, brutal standards apply when you grace the cover of Vogue and the catwalks of Fashion TV. You are public domain - for better and for worse – and speculation begins immediately. Fortunately, Gemma was never within earshot of the bruising traveler buzz:
“Maybe she fell off the catwalk.”
“A hand model, perhaps?”
But we digress.
The Seven Step Plan
There were a few things about Gemma that set her apart from the other trekkers cutting their way through the Himalayas. Whether you are a supermodel or just want to trek like one, here’s how:
1. Grow a large head - not figuratively, but literally. The significance of this feature hadn’t occurred to us until we related this story to a friend knowledgeable in the business of entertainment and television.
“You know, we hiked with a supermodel around the Annapurna Circuit.”
“Did she have a big head? All famous people have big heads,” he responded without skipping a beat.
To answer that question, we relay the words from one of our fellow trekkers: “She’s got a hu-uge head. Head like a yak.”
Then, as if to redeem himself. “Oh, but she’s got GREAT lips,” he gushed with upturned eyes, as if imaging an alpine interlude with the woman of his dreams (see #7).
2. Make sure that every day is a good hair day, even days with cold (or no) showers at 5000 meters (16,000 feet). Ensure that your blond tresses fall from your woolen cap a la Rapunzel as you doff it.
3. Decide you want to learn to play guitar while trekking and have your guide carry your acoustic guitar up and over a 5,416 meter/17,700 foot mountain pass. Make sure you know how to play absolutely nothing and spend 5-10 minutes plunking around a new chord after each meal.
If you really want to stand out: Next mountain climb, take a tuba.
4. Trek with a guy in a Rastafarian cap who carries his own pack and desperately seeks to look like Johnny Depp. Rasta Depp didn’t share a room with Gemma, so no romance rumors here (now that would really boost our readership!). Other speculation heard on the trail: he was Heath Ledger’s brother, even though the web confirmed later that Heath didn’t even have a brother. Perhaps Rasta Depp was Gemma’s personal stylist. See #2 above.
5. Hire a porter to carry two fully stuffed body-sized waterproof bags and be mysterious regarding their contents. Audrey innocently thought that perhaps they contained materials for anthropological or scientific research and inquired as to the bags’ contents. Gemma’s dismissive response: “Stuff.”
Our take? Hair care products!
6. Drink bottled mineral water at 5,000 meters. For our porter, this was the clincher that classified her as famous. While the rest of us disinfected the local water with iodine tablets or chlorine drops, Gemma quaffed her small bottles of mineral water at $5 a pop.
Did we mention that mineral water is good for your hair?
7. Ensure that your presence transforms male trekkers into adolescents. The same trekker who noted the size of her head (and dreamed of her lips) couldn’t contain his excitement at the possibility of altitude-induced erratic behavior: “Did she flash everyone at the pass? Did she lift her shirt up?”
We are very sorry to disappoint - there was no Gemma flashing at Thorong La pass.
While Gemma unintentionally dropped a few hints along the trek that she was a bit different, our hats go off to her for maintaining a low profile and hanging with the rest of us. We do wish that she had clued us in earlier so that we might have some better photos of her to remember the occasion. After all, it’s not every day that we’re sharing outhouses with a supermodel.
July 9th, 2008 at 7:54 am
This story cracks me up! Diane and I are convinced that supermodels look like (and perhaps are) alines. As you said, their big head plus their eyes are usually spaced far apart…just like aliens
p.s. Did you see her spaceship?
July 9th, 2008 at 9:10 am
Back in the days when I was a commercial photographer I photographed quite a few models, some of whom went on to model in New York and Europe. Some were shy, some snobbish, some petty and some quite wonderful.
The conclusion I came to is they are not so different from the rest of us. They’re just prettier.
As another guy named Peter once said, Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit.
Good post. Anxiously awaiting to hear more from you.
July 9th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Audrey,
I was doing some research on the Internet yesterday and ended up reading about another of your relatives, Cornelius R. Stamm. If I’m not mistaken he would be your great uncle, your Grandfather Ken’s Brother. Quite a family you come from. I’m starting to feel like some kind of geneological stalker but I just keep coming across these connections.
Hope you have a good time in Bratislava.
July 13th, 2008 at 1:01 am
Steven: You’re right - a big head, eyes spread apart and high cheek bones seem to be the tell tale sign of a supermodel. We didn’t see a spaceship, but she did kind of disappear after the hot springs in Tatopani…
Pete: The more we (accidentally) run into famous people, the more we realize that they are just like the rest of us and just want to be treated that way. We’ve had “feel like a rock star” days occasionally as we’ve gone through parts of rural China or India where they are not used to westerners - people stare, children gape and those with mobile phones take endless photos of us. The attention is intense and we sometimes wanted to hide by the end of the day. So, we can certainly understand celebrities wanting to lay low and wanting to be judged by what’s on the inside.
I’ll have to ask my grandfather about Cornelius Stamm - I don’t believe he was Betty’s brother-in-law, but he may have been a cousin or some other relative. Don’t worry about being a geneological stalker - it’s helping me to learn more about my own family!
July 18th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
I always suspected that all famous people had massive heads! Nice to see that someone ‘in the know’ agrees.
Enjoy Europe!
July 19th, 2008 at 4:31 pm
Our friend “in the know” heard it from a famous person himself - now I’m going to pay more attention to head sizes : )
We’re enjoying Europe, but starting to miss Asian food. Enjoy some Sichuan hot pot for us in China!
August 7th, 2008 at 6:12 pm
My girlfriend Christa and I hiked the Annapurna Circuit and ran in to Audrey several times. We also ran into Gemma and her Aussie friend Dave at Bagarchap. I chatted with her for a while and she was was pretty nice. I could tell she was attractive, but wearing a dirty t-shirt and hiking pants I’d never have guessed she was a super model (especially because this is not the kind of activity I’d normally envision a supermodel doing, though in all fairness, she did have a porter
). We chatted about how she made the decision to leave high school at 16 to go modeling in Milan and then move to NY. She was quite adamant that she’d go back and get her high school diploma and then her college degree when she had time. Over all she was a nice gal- a slight air of expecting to get what she wants, but other than that, pretty down to earth.
August 8th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
I had the pleasure of meeting not only Dan and Audrey on the Nepal tekk, as my boyfriend and I were on the exact same route, but we also got to spend a night in Bangerchap with Gemma and her Austrialian friend. She was quite soft spoken, but had some pretty intersting stories to tell (as mentioned above by Josh). The one thing that stuck out to me was how many people she had just carrying her stuff…there was a guide and two porters. When I found out that she was a super model, it all made sense, although I was still confused by what she had brough. When we parted ways we wished her well…and I hope that she does go back to highschool
August 11th, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Josh and Christa, great to hear your stories from running into Gemma on the trip. Glad to know we’re not the only ones who noticed all her stuff! When and where is your next hike?
August 28th, 2008 at 12:17 am
Great story, really neat that this happened, you could have sold those photos of her for some good money i am sure, but wouldn’t that go against your ethics blah blah blah blah….
Well, i would have sold them.
Bry
August 28th, 2008 at 4:36 am
I remember during the yak stampede trying to take pictures of the yaks jumping over the hill without Gemma in the picture. I didn’t know who she was and didn’t want to ruin the nature shot with the image of another trekker. Of course, now I wish I had gotten her in the frame - not to sell, but it would have made the images in this post much more exciting!
September 10th, 2008 at 10:17 am
I wondered how they stay so thin. I would imagine she burned tons of calories.