One option is to apply for a transit visa, which you must do on your own. The advantage: you can travel the country unaccompanied. The disadvantages: you’ll have a short period of time to cover a large country and your visa is far from guaranteed. We met several disappointed travelers whose applications for Turkmenistan transit visas were either rejected or granted with impossibly short periods of time, leaving them to drown their sorrows in bad Tajik wine.

Alternatively, you can apply for a tourist visa. The catch is this: in order to obtain a tourist visa (i.e., more than the maximum five-day transit visa), you need to purchase an organized tour with an authorized tour company. Additionally, your tour guide is required to be with you at all times, except in the capital city of Ashgabat.

We normally run in the opposite direction when we hear the words “organized tour,” but our curiosity got the better of us so we jumped through the necessary hoops to make Turkmenistan happen.

We used and can recommend Stantours for visa support (Letter of Invitation – LOI) and tour. The LOI took about three weeks while the actual visa only took a few days to be issued from the Turkmenistan Embassy in Yerevan, Armenia. The process was painless and delivery quick.

As one of our travel mates discovered, it is also possible to get your Turkmenistan visa on arrival as long as your LOI is in order and you have another few hours to burn while awaiting the arrival of the appropriate official to show up. Airports and sea ports apparently share the same visa official, who shuttles back and forth among the different locations. It is always possible that the Turkmen authorities might reject you at the border, but this is unlikely if your paperwork is in order.

In order to control the cost of your tour, let your tour operator know that you are interested in joining an existing tour or adding travelers to your group. This not only helps financially, but you will likely meet some interesting people.

Your guide is supposed to meet you at your port of entry and escort you through the entry process (Turkmenistan immigration and customs). If he/she doesn’t show up, just make sure you get stamped in, get your foreigner registration card ($10 + $2 administrative fee), and keep a copy of your customs form. We were concerned about our laptops, cameras, mobile phone, and other electronic devices, but the customs officials in Turkmenbashi’s sea port did not seem to care.

Hint: Women, if you wish to speed up the process at customs/goods inspection, put some female garments and toiletries at the top of the bag. The male customs officials will likely want to avoid having to shuffle through “women’s things,” as one male customs official uttered with disgust when Audrey opened her bag.

Costs:
Turkmenistan Letter of Invitation: Through Stantours, $50/person.
Turkmenistan Visa: We paid $72 per person at the Turkmen Embassy in Yerevan, Armenia for 3-day express service.
Turkmenistan Tour: We were able to share fixed costs – guide and transport – between four people, which reduced costs considerably. It came to $65/person per day for accommodation, breakfast, guide, transport and one flight between Mary and Ashgabat. This was well above our normal daily budget, but it was a pleasant break for us to not have to think constantly of where to spend the night and what time the next bus was leaving.

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“All-time favorite places” is a difficult one to answer without writing a book, but if we limit the question to 2007 (as we did in our personal growth exercise last night), the answer becomes manageable and something worth sharing with our readers.

1. Battambang, Cambodia – We still light up when we describe our time here. Cambodia and its people proved delightful. Our experiences in and around Battambang – our trip there, a day on a motorbike, a Buddhist wedding blessing and a cooking class – made this place a highlight of highlights.

2. Turkmenistan – Surprisingly curious and engaging people, a lingering quirkiness and a hopefully improving future.

3. Kazakhstan – The moment we were literally out of the woods and realized that we would survive without the assistance of a helicopter lift.

4. Kyrgyzstan – An all-around enjoyable travel experience including a horse trek, a wisdom-filled discussion with a shepherd, a Ramadan feast, and a series of breath-taking landscapes.

5. Zugdidi, Georgia – The food was very good, but the kindness shown to us by a group of Georgian women at the market in Zugdidi is what we’ll truly remember.

ADDENDUM (January 19, 2007): After recently sharing our experiences in Laos with several travelers, we were reminded of how much we love this country and wondered how we managed to exclude it from our Top 5 of 2007. Belatedly giving credit where it is due:

Laos: Luang Prabang and Nong Khiaw – Laid back atmosphere, outrageously cute children, delicious cuisine and peaceful monks.

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No animal seems to capture the essence of grace while embracing its own awkwardness like the Dromedary camel. Though you’ll catch the occasional loner wandering the open scrub or tracing the roadside, camels are actually domesticated. They move in herds and are raised for their meat and milk. If you have the chance, try chal – a fizzy, fermented version of camel milk.

We never could get our fill of camel-spotting, camel-chasing and camel-filming. Our group regressed into a Romper Room of riotous pre-schoolers each time we spotted one of these unmistakable beasts in the distance.

Our camel-gazing climax occurred as we returned to the town of Mary after bone digging in Gonur Depe. In the middle of nowhere, we were fortunate enough to meet a man who owns 183 of them. As we admired his camel collection, our guide Oleg continually noted, “Very rich man. Very rich.”

As scruffy and smelly as camels can be, they exhibit a sort of elegance and poetry all their own. If only they could share their stories and tell us the history of the lonely stretch of land – Turkmenistan’s Karakum Desert – that they inhabit.

In case you don’t like camels, don’t watch the video. There’s braying, chewing, feeding and even a little kiss at the end.

Video – Camels in Turkmenistan’s Karakum Desert

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Dan kept Turkmenistan in sight and brought it up often enough to keep it on the radar of travel possibilities.

Considering that Turkmenbashi had just died in December 2006 and that we might not have this unique opportunity again in the near future, we decided to give it a go. We left it to fate and the Turkmen government’s willingness to grant us adequate visas.

As fate would have it, the Turkmen authorities said yes. So did we.

We weren’t terribly familiar with Turkmenistan before we visited except for the combination of news and urban lore that circulated. We had heard about banned beards, an ice palace in the desert, days of the week and months of the year renamed after the president’s family members, and so on. Prior to our entry, friends sent us mainstream articles like this and this as background reading before we hopped on the ferry from Azerbaijan.

Turkmenistan was one of the world’s last closed countries – difficult to get into and mired in a police-state bureaucracy built by a cult-of-personality dictator who had ruled for 15 years. Limited information circulated on what life is like for ordinary people.

It’s easy to beat up on Turkmenistan, which we’ve done to some degree in our two previous pieces (here and here). Now we take a step back and acknowledge so much that pleasantly surprised us about the place.

1. Darkness, in Place and People
Expectations: A dark, heavily controlled police state where people are afraid to talk and engage with foreigners for fear of drawing the ire of authorities.
Delivery: Genuine curiosity and smiles from people the moment we stepped off the boat. Locals were interested in engaging with us and were curious to find out where we were from. This pleasant curiosity and engagement continued throughout our entire journey, making the Turkmen people the highlight of our visit. Tourism is still a novelty in Turkmenistan. As a result, most of its people are not yet jaded and haven’t learned to be aggressively opportunistic. It’s so refreshing to engage with people who truly don’t expect something in return.

2. Using Your Camera, Dodging the Police
Expectations: Not being able to use our cameras freely and possibly getting our camera and laptop equipment confiscated for suspicion of being journalists. We even backed-up all of all our photos in three different locations before leaving Azerbaijan in anticipation of this possibility.
Delivery: Except for the area near the president’s house in Ashgabat and at highway checkpoints, we felt free to use our cameras just about everywhere. Turkmen people enjoyed the attention of the camera and often thanked us for having had their photo taken. They were proud to show off their country and encouraged us to take photos. As for our bags and equipment, it was all superficially inspected upon entry and exit, even though we had claimed a slew of devices on our customs forms.

3. Engulfed in Images of Turkmenbashi
Expectations: Images and statues of Turkmenbashi (self-named and self-proclaimed “Leader of all Turkmens”) at every turn.
Delivery: In this case, the reality surpassed our imaginations. Turkmenbashi’s smiling face is still literally everywhere. To add confusion, images of his successor, Kurbanguly Berdymukhamedov (at left, we believe), compete for visual space, making it difficult for Turkmen novices to tell the two apart. They do look very much alike to the untrained eye. Rumors even circulated regarding the current president being Turkmenbashi’s illegitimate son.

4. Police Consume our Visual Space
Expectations: Uniformed and plain-clothed police everywhere, ready to hassle unabiding locals and tourists at a moment’s notice.
Delivery: Police do man the streets in Ashgabat and the other cities, but we were never harassed or requested to show our documents. Foreigners were not allowed to walk the streets after 11 PM (taxi travel was acceptable, however). While there were checkpoints along Turkmenistan’s highways, we were only stopped once and our guide deftly handled questions regarding whether or not we had taken photos of the security gate.

5. Access to the Outside World
Expectations: No access to the outside world. No internet, television, or printed materials.
Delivery: The result here is a mixed bag. Internet cafes are appearing, albeit slowly. Access is still very expensive for ordinary people and a passport number is required for access and is entered into a logbook by attendants. However, several foreign organizations like Counterpart and the American Center offer free internet access to local citizens. Since they are cheap and easily procured, satellite dishes are absolutely everywhere. Small ones get international channels, including the BBC in English, while larger dishes pick up Russian channels. Printed materials are limited and can prove farcical. It’s worth noting that printed materials (particularly in English) in neighboring countries often resemble laugh-worthy rags full of outdated news and propaganda-laden titles and quotes.

6. No Access to the Outside World = Oblivious, Provincial People
Expectations: Provincial Turkmen people due to their limited access to information.
Delivery: This is partially true, but we were also surprised to meet several people who had studied in the U.S. During our last night in Ashgabat we met a young teenager who had learned English from Peace Corps volunteers and looked poised to take on the world. If she is representative of just a small percentage of the next generation, then there is indeed hope that things will change for the better.

7. Homogeneity
Expectations: A relatively homogeneous people in terms of ethnicity, language, culture and lifestyle.
Delivery: Turkmenistan is diverse, which proved a pleasant surprise for us. Turkmens, Russians, Azerbaijanis, Armenians, Tatars and other nationalities form its ethnic canvas. We were constantly fascinated by the diversity of physical features – especially the eyes, which ranged from the darkest black to the clearest aqua. Fascinating and beautiful.

8. Goofy Laws and Lore
Expectations: No beards, no gold teeth, no opera.
Delivery: Beards and gold teeth are everywhere, but smoking in public is not allowed (apparently because Turkmenbashi did not want to be tempted while he himself was trying to quit). The ice palace is a skating rink, not a palace made of ice. The Walk of Health is indeed real and as surreal as it sounds. More on similar folklore here.

What’s Next for Turkmenistan?
While Turkmenistan far exceeded our expectations in a positive way, this is not to say that life there is ideal for all of its citizens. Although controls seem to be easing with the new president, dissent and disagreement were hardly encouraged. [Fair point to those who might counter with “Where are dissent and disagreement truly encouraged these days?”]

Locals we spoke to also expressed frustration that there are not enough jobs, meaning that the standard of living has dropped for many since Soviet times.

The changes Turkmenbashi made to the education system – replacing substance with study of the Rukhnama and shortening the period of state-sponsored basic education – disqualified many Turkmen students from attending foreign universities and has placed a large part of a generation at a disadvantage.

Topics considered “negative” like AIDS and drugs are just now being discussed, though the problems have been there unattended for years.

Some of Turkmenbashi’s grand agricultural and architectural plans continue to drain rivers and redirect water sources at an accelerated rate, meaning unexpected environmental challenges lurk just around the corner.

During our brief visit, signs did seem to indicate that President Berdymukhamedov was slowly making changes for the better. Within the first six months of his presidency, he had re-extended the compulsory education system (from nine to eleven years), reinstated term limits for presidents, chucked the idea of a university based on the Rukhnama and allowed free movement of people within the country.

Turkmen citizens still needed an exit visa to leave the country, meaning that movement outside Turkmenistan was not yet free. People we spoke to indicated that even this was becoming easier, aided in part by subsidized flights abroad on Turkmenistan Airlines.

While the number of police on the streets had supposedly dropped, they continue to maintain a visible presence. For foreigners unaccustomed to such supervision, it feels like Big Brother is still watching.

We met a British traveler who first visited Turkmenistan in 2000. According to him, people were reserved and afraid to talk with foreigners then. His stories also featured mysterious CIA and Taliban rendezvous at the Sheraton Hotel (another story altogether). What he experienced then is akin to what we expected to find during our recent journey. In contrast, upon his return in 2007, he recognized a significant change in people’s behavior and the country’s overall mood.

Perhaps you can understand why our findings give us hope for this country and its people. Only time will tell.

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If a baby died, its bones would be kept in a ceramic jar in the house.

– Our guide Oleg providing another fascinating background tidbit on the ruins at Gonur Depe, Turkmenistan.

Fifteen minutes later, one of us literally kicked up the fragmented top of an ancient ceramic urn encrusted with earth and filled with small bones. The bit about the bones may sound morbid, but when you realize that what you just overturned with your hiking boots probably dates back 1000s of years, it becomes a really cool find.

If you hit the whole of the Silk Road (through Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, and China), you’ll find yourself continually surrounded by physically impressive sites, including mosques, medressas (Islamic schools), tombs, walls, fortifications, and tile-adorned minarets. After some time, you’ll realize that many of these sites are sanitized and beautifully restored often to the point of over-restoration. There are other sites, however, which harken back to a period long before the Silk Road existed and are in the early stages of their discovery and classification. You’ll find them in Turkmenistan.

Would-Be Archaeologists
Although Gonur Depe doesn’t look like much from afar – just a series of mud walls two feet off the ground – its archaeological implications are significant. Bones, ceramics and the remains of ancient kilns are scattered everywhere as archaeologists race against the advancing desert and the threat of winds and rain that might wash away another layer of history. During our visit, we felt like amateur archaeologists with the possibility of kicking up the Turkmen version of Tutenkamen’s tomb. With each step, we scanned the ground for what might be the next significant find.

The site is still being excavated, so you can see what the professional archaeologists have literally just dug up. The area is an archaeological mélange of Sufi, shamanistic, Zoroastrian, and animistic influences; much remains to be sorted out. Oleg, our guide, shared competing theories from archaeologists regarding what a specific ditch, oven, or bowl might have been used for thousands of years ago. A prominent theory is that Zoroastrianism got its start at Gonur Depe. No one knows for sure, but the remains do seem to offer some convincing proof.

When we were there, we were treated to a peek at the latest discovery, a wealthy man’s grave and his horse’s skeleton, looking as though it had just curled up for a nap.

While Merv and Konye-Urgench serve as Turkmenistan’s main historical attractions and offer more typically iconic Silk Road architecture, we particularly enjoyed Gonur Depe because it made us feel like explorers.

We visited several other sites with pre-and post-Mongol ceramics scattered on the ground. In the middle of the desert, Zengi Baba mausoleum featured ancient petrified seashells fossilized in the form of small cannonballs. Our minds twisted around the concept that today’s desolate desert was once a vibrant part of the eastern reaches of the Caspian Sea.

Photo Essay – Turkmenistan’s Ancient and Silk Road Sites

Living Sites
While we appreciated Turkmenistan’s long history and enjoyed its archaeological sites, some of our favorite moments are attached to Turkmenistan’s living sites.

Take Paraw Bibi, en route from Turkmenbashi to Ashgabat, a pilgrimage site that has played host to devotees for centuries. The story of Paraw Bibi (meaning grandmother of Parthians) is one of a strong-minded woman who kept her honor and fought invaders from a mountain cave. Today, the cave and the surrounding area are considered holy, particularly for women who visit it for the supposed fecundity that it confers.

Upon our arrival at the site, we were engulfed by friendly and outgoing women, many of whom literally took Audrey by the arm and helped to lead her up the hill to the site’s apex. Most women wore typically long, colorful Turkmen dresses outfitted with intricate embroidery. Even up the steep hill, they seemed to float with impressive posture.

After visiting the cave and witnessing the performance of religious rites, we walked outside where some girls were playing games of “sin detection,” whereby a stone is balanced on the thumbs of two participants in hopes that the stone rotates, indicating that no sin has been committed.

From there, we descended into the outdoor living and eating quarters. We were told that pilgrims believe that if they eat and sleep near the holy site, the benefits of their pilgrimage will be multiplied. Some women gave us a large platter of plov (a dish composed of rice, carrots and meat) and “head and legs” meat stew. We ate heartily and had to turn down further offers. We were overwhelmed by the genuine hospitality and the feeling of inclusiveness.

Photo Essay – Turkmenbashi to Ashgabat

Natural and Not-so-Natural History
Perhaps no visit to Turkmenistan would be complete without a visit to the Darvaza gas crater. Our approach to the crater was dramatic enough. Lonely, soft sand dunes played host to beautiful sunsets and “nomadic” desert villages filled with scruffy camels and aging yurts (nomadic homes). Old motorcycles and Soviet vehicles dotted the horizon and as darkness descended, they formed silhouettes in the full moonlight.

The Darvaza gas crater can be seen for miles on an approach through Turkmenistan’s Karakum desert. Like Hell on Earth, its flames rose up from its gut and licked every possible surface with impunity. We walked to the edge to peer in, shielding ourselves from the intense heat and later climbed to a nearby hill for some relief. From there, we sat staring at the gaping, fiery crater for half the night, mesmerized by its flames and its odd beauty.

The Darvaza gas crater appears a natural phenomenon, but owes its origins to human intervention. When the Soviets were exploring the Karakum Desert for gas in the late 1950s, the ground collapsed in several areas and formed several large craters. 30 years later, some genius thought it would be good to burn off the remaining natural gas and lit one of the craters on fire. Today the crater still burns, drawing fuel from the remaining natural gas.

Although arguably unnatural, it’s still pretty cool.

It couldn’t have been a more fitting end to our visit to this relatively unknown, remarkably friendly and truly fascinating country known as Turkmenistan.

Photo Essay – The Darvaza Gas Crater and Karakum Desert

Practical Details – Tourist Sights of Turkmenistan

Our visit to Turkmenistan required a tour. We took in a vast number of planned and unplanned sites including Turkmenbashi (Krasnovodsk), Avaza Beach, Murche, Zengi Baba mausoleum, Balkanabat, Paraw Bibi, Geok Depe (Geok Tepe) and Saparamat Haji Mosque, Kip Chak Mosque and Turkmenbashi’s Mausoleum and the Mil Ruhi Medjidi (Mosque of Turkmenbashi’s Soul) near Ashgabat, Annau Mosque, Seid Gemel ad Din, Abiverd, Howuz Han, the Kazakh and Turkmen cemetery at Sehitli Sem, Mary, Merv, Darvaza, Jerbent, and Konye-Urgench. We used Stantours and can highly recommend them for the quality of their guides. They are also accustomed to accommodating independent travelers and their approach to guiding allows for flexibility and wandering.

Originally posted on the Uncornered Market travel blog. Find beautiful travel photos from around the world. | One comment

Your trip across the Caspian may provide some of the scariest and most fulfilling moments of your entire journey.

– A veteran journalist we met in Tbilisi, Georgia who had seen it all in the former Soviet Union.

Although we are posting this from Pingyao, China, we dial back a few clicks to the beginning of our journey in Central Asia in an attempt to adequately address the images in our mind and the notes in our journals.

Oddly shaped like a damaged index finger or a distressed plume of smoke, the Caspian Sea pumps out oil and caviar in the midst of the surrounding desert and extreme landscape. For most of us, its name conjures images of a faraway, mysterious or mythical land. Our encounter with it was rather practical, however. In order to get from Baku, Azerbaijan to Turkmenbashi, Turkmenistan, we needed to cross it.

Since there were no schedules, only the Caspian ferry gods knew when and if it might run. Due to a long run of rough weather that had recently plagued the region, the ferry hadn’t left for several days. Although these delays seemed to place our departure date in jeopardy, our frustration was offset by relief to hear that some semblance of safety standards were at work.

A Cast of Characters
The ticket woman holding court at the port didn’t know when or what time the boat would leave, but she sold us a ticket anyway and told us to return the next morning.

When we returned, we spent several hours watching train cars loaded with goods roll into the ferry’s cargo belly. After taking a lesson from the Azerbaijani border guard on Azerbaijani- Armenian relations, we walked the rickety metal gangplank and were securely inside.

We were met at the entrance to the ferry by a woman we came to call “comandante.” To imagine what she looked like, consider a genetic mash-up of the Stay-Puft Marshmallow and Michelin men. Add a wicked skin-piercing Russian accent and a dose of lingering Soviet sadness and you’d have the picture we were too afraid to take.

She quickly seized our passports and showed us to our cabin. In a predictably sad move to earn some extra money, she tried talking us into upgrading our cabin for a few extra dollars, repeating “Room number eight bad. Very bad.” over and over again. We feigned happiness with the windowless, stale inner cabin we had been assigned and declined her offer.

The Evening Show
As the sun began to descend, the sky slowly transformed into a color gradient, featuring rich shades of red, orange and violet. Our craft moved almost imperceptibly to us, leaving only the subtlest ripples in its wake as evidence. The waters of the Caspian were so placid, it was almost frightening. We were surrounded by the kind of silence that provides space – a thought space – into which it’s possible to unnecessarily insert images of sinking ships.

Silhouettes of oil rigs punctuated the horizon which formed our circular visual boundary. Although oil rigs don’t epitomize fantasy, just about anything takes on a chimerical appearance in this spectacular light. Dwarfed by nature, we continued scanning, rotating our view so as not to miss a single moment. A 360 degree turn rendered the sensation that we were floating on the surface of a giant water glass. These are the moments for which peripheral vision was made.

This was Mother Nature’s show. All we could do was watch in awe. Each time we thought the sunset was at its climax, she would outdo herself once again with darker shades on the horizon and more brilliant iridescence on the water’s surface, thereby treating us to possibly the longest sunset we had ever witnessed.

When the sky was finally filled with darkness, we descended, chilled by the evening air and amazed by what we had just witnessed.

Final thoughts
If you can handle the uncertainty of ferry travel and have some time flexibility, we highly recommend taking the slow boat across the Caspian (to Turkmenistan as we did, or to Aktau, Kazakhstan). The sunset alone is worth the trip and offers a dazzling display that you are unlikely to encounter anywhere else. Moreover, the ferry offers an ideal slow-paced transition into unusual Turkmenistan.

Photo Essay – From Turkmenbashi to Ashgabat

Practical Details – Boat from Baku to Turkmenbashi, Turkmenistan Visa

Getting into Turkmenistan, the boat: To get to the Baku ferry building, ask for Parom, the Russian word for ferry. The overnight ferry leaves Baku on most days (i.e., there is no schedule) in the early afternoon. On the day of your desired departure, arrive around 8:30-9:00 AM to purchase a seat ticket for an arbitrary amount of money between $45-$60. Once you are on board, you can negotiate a cabin (preferably with a window) for another $5-$10. If there is no boat that day, keep trying until a boat eventually leaves. It’s best to bring some food with you on board since you never know if the “chef” will have extra food for passengers. Arrival in Turkmenbashi should be around 9 AM the next day. We’ve met people who were docked outside of Turkmenbashi for an additional 12-24 hours, however. So, you just never know.

Getting into Turkmenistan, the bureaucracy: Turkmenistan is one of the most difficult countries in the world for which to get a visa. The process is long and convoluted. If you want to stay in the country for more than five days (which is the typical maximum for a transit visa), then you’ll need to book an authorized tour. Your guide is technically supposed to be with you at all times, except in Ashgabat.

We used and can recommend Stantours for our visa support (Letter of Invitation – LOI) and tour. The LOI took about three weeks while the actual visa only took a few days to issue from the Turkmen Embassy. Once we had possession of the LOI, we applied for our Turkmen visa at the Turkmen Embassy in Yerevan, Armenia. We highly recommend this location. The process was painless and delivery quick.

In order to control the cost of your tour, let your tour operator know that you are interested in joining an existing tour or adding travelers to your group. This not only helps financially, but you will likely meet some interesting people.

Turkmenistan-interested travelers can be an interesting breed. The characters in our tour group definitely added a positive and humorous dimension to our Turkmen experience. We also gained some new friends.

Originally posted on the Uncornered Market travel blog. Find beautiful travel photos from around the world. | 10 comments

Ashgabat has been adorned by many beautiful buildings, which made unique architectural ensemble.

– A quote on the reverse side of an “official” postcard of the main drama theater named after Turkmenbashi.

One part Las Vegas, another part Pyong Yang, Ashgabat springs up out of the middle of nowhere in the Turkmen desert. You wonder how and you wonder why. Unabashedly Orwellian, Ashgabat is not only the capital city but the former seat of power of Saparmurat Atayevich Niyazov who named himself Turkmenbashi (Leader of all Turkmen). An epicenter of international ire and a source of modern myth, Ashgabat is a place where truths are stranger than fiction.

We’ve assembled the following scavenger hunt for visitors to discover this quirky and fascinating city…and the cult of personality behind it.

1. A photo of Turkmenbashi, a photo of Turkmenbashi 2 (Gurbankuly Berdymuhammedov). Then, take the two and quiz the locals. Can everyone tell them apart? They look suspiciously alike.

2. The giant Rukhnama monument. If you can find it when the book is open and showing videos of Turkmenbashi with “The Book,” you get double points.

3. Someone (outside of the government) who admits to reading the Rukhnama. One of our tour buddies, Dave, approached all newfound Turkmen friends with the following line of questioning, “Have you read the Rukhnama? How many times have you read it? Do you agree with it?”

Results were mixed, but the overwhelming opinion seems to ascribe the Rukhnama to the shelves of the world’s great fairy tales. Fortunately for Turkmenistan’s future generations, the Rukhnama University project has been put on hold since its author’s death.

4. Camel Kebab. Sources tell us that the doner kebabs spinning on the streets and local markets are made with camel meat, which is considered a lesser meat than beef or lamb. If this is indeed true, see if you can find tastier camel kebabs than the ones near the entrance to the Gulustan Russian market.

5. The hour when the lights shut off. Like a show in Las Vegas. Witness the spectacle when Ashgabat’s well-lit, white marble buildings all shut off their lights at the same time (11 PM). The show is best viewed from the restaurant atop 5 Legs Fountain. This coincides with #6.

6. The hour when foreigners should be off the street. See #5 for the time. About this time, night-owl foreigners end up at discos with bad music, overly friendly Russian prostitutes and thuggy guys without the money to buy their services drooling after them. It’s a curious circus.

7. Arch of Frivolity. Its real name is Arch of Neutrality. Nice idea, lifetime neutrality for Turkmenistan. But did Turkmenbashi really need to blow more of the country’s money on a 12-meter gold statue of himself to sit atop the thing and revolve so that it always faces the sun?

Look up “propensity to build odd-looking monuments with gold statues bearing one’s likeness revolving with the sun” in your favorite psychology textbook and let us know the diagnosis.

8. Turkmenbashi poetry, illustrated and translated into Japanese (or, the language of your choice). Go to Maris bookstore and take your pick from the Rukhnama or Turkmenbashi’s books for children. Yes, he also wrote children’s books! Choose a poem and read it aloud to the surly staff. Stock up on calendars showing how Turkmen dogs and horses are superior to all other breeds in the world. They make good stocking stuffers.

9. Turkmenbashi vodka. He can smile at you from inside the or outside the bottle. Take your pick, or have a wild night and drink both. It’s pretty smooth stuff, actually.

10. A hotel room in Berezengi that is not bugged, where everything actually works, and the room key does not open all the other doors in the hotel. This item on the hunt may be the hardest to find.

11.The world’s most frightening mechanical crocodile. Hint: Get a local to buy your entry ticket ($5 for foreigners, $0.05 for locals) and look in the Land of Turkmen Fairy Tales. There’s a football pitch devoted to a mechanical crocodile that sits in a small pool of water and flaps its jaws every 30 seconds or so. Proposed Celebrity Death Match: mechanical crocodile and Turkmenbashi statue on top of the Arch of Neutrality.

12. Kilometer marker #10 on 37 km Walk of Health. Turkmenbashi required members of his government to walk it from start to finish one day out of the year…while he took a helicopter. He’d greet those at the front of the pack and ridicule those wheezing in the rear.

Apparently, the walk was so distressing in Ashgabat’s heat that sick days are taken en masse the days following the annual march. The Leader of all Turkmens does care. He ordered 10s of 1000s of trees planted in the 8-km circumference of the walk so that in 10 to 15 years the walk will be situated in a cool forest, rather than the desert. For Turkmenbashi, it was always mind over matter. Who knows, maybe there’s scientific genius in the madness? Our bets are on Mother Nature.

13. The best black market cash exchange. When the official rate is roughly 5600 Manat to the dollar and the unofficial rate is 23,700, everyone operates on the cash black market. Our favorite cash window, on a street nicknamed Wall Street (ironically, right around the corner from the US Embassy) dishes out the most honest piles of cash. If you think you’re going to count your money, think again…or pack a money-counting machine. The highest denominations of bills are 5,000 and 10,000 (20 and 40 US cents).

Note: we did find these windows more honest than the Uzbek National Bank in Urgench, Uzbekistan.

14. The Vagina. Another architectural marvel whose concept was borne out of Turkmenbashi’s extended gaze at a Georgia O’Keefe coffee table book. If you get stuck, ask locals for the Ministry of Health.

15.Turkmenbashi’s modest CV – “he likes poetry and has two children.” Hint: You can find this at the National Museum, where Turkmenbashi hoped to “consolidate Turkmenistan’s international prestige.” Postcards from China or India (your choice) for anyone who can tell us what this phrase means. A decent museum, but another salute to Turkmenbashi’s galactic ego.

In case you get lost during your scavenger hunt, we hope that your map of Ashgabat will be half as entertaining as ours.

Ashgabat the capital of Turkmenistan and the political, social, and economic center. The new role of the city in infrastructure of the country is directly associated with realization of the doctrine of the first President of Turkmenistan Saparmurat Turkmenbashy the Great of granding Ashgabat the status of the new center of business activity and one of the most beautiful cities in the world. -Our purpose is the construction of a flourishing state, society of justice-, these words of the great Turkmen leader for ever have run into the memory of each citizen of Turkmenistan being a vivid confirmation of the political, social, and economic orientation of the reformatory activity of the first President of the country whose all creative power are concentrated on creation of a new, strong, independent and neutral state, based on deep successive traditions of ancestors, on the centuries-old culture of the Turkmen people.
Among the new comfortable buildings we find business centers, supermarkets, museums, cultural centers and many others. The modern Ashgabat is a city of old architectural traditions possessing quite a number of unique town-planning solutions.

What more can we add? You have to see it for yourself to believe it.

If you have a high-speed connection, stick around for the slide show.

Originally posted on the Uncornered Market travel blog. Find beautiful travel photos from around the world. | 6 comments

What’s true and what’s Turkmenbashi urban myth? Here’s the scoop based on our peek inside Turkmenistan.

1. Cars must be clean: A dirty car offends the President, so all cars must be clean! One foreigner we spoke to confirmed that she recently received a firm reprimand from a policeman in Ashgabat because her car was a bit dusty. Fortunately, her diplomatic status saved her from fines and her car from the impound lot.
2. No beards: Unfortunately for barbers, all Turkmens we spoke to indicated to us that this rule was myth. No doubt the law was on the books (or in someone’s book, or maybe on Turkmenbashi’s palm), but it was never enforced.
3. No gold teeth: The story goes that while Turkmenbashi attended a televised ceremony, he caught sight of a woman with a set of gold teeth, found it inappropriate, and publicly told her so. He kindly sent her to his favorite dentist, the Minister of Health (now president), to have her gold teeth replaced with a white enamel set. Although apparently not explicitly against the law, gold teeth did fall out of favor with Turkmenistan’s elite during the era of Turkmenbashi. As preferences go, we can’t argue.
4. No Opera – it’s un-Turkmen: Circus is also banned. This one’s true. The Turkmen government closely controls what goes on in Turkmenistan’s many theaters. Who knows what opportunities may knock with the passing of Turkmenbashi. The Ringling Brothers and Cirque du Soleil may yet have their day in the Turkmen sun.
5. No smoking in public places: Turkmenbashi inhaled. When he tried to quit, he instigated this ban so as to eliminate temptation from people smoking on the street. Even after Turkmenbashi’s death, the ban continues. Smoking is definitely allowed. Cigarette stands on every corner are a testment to that. However, the rule of no public smoking is enforced. One of the drivers of the Aston Martin Tokyo-to-London team was fined $100 by the Turkmen highway militsia for smoking in his own car.
   Update: This article tells what happens if you are a high-ranking government official and get caught smoking in public. We like the charge of an act which “does not become a leader.” Just think of the possibilities.
6. Spandex ban: Another ban in the vein of “it’s un-Turkmen.” No one we spoke to seemed to know much about this rule. It’s not like Turkmen women have a propensity to wear spandex anyway. We couldn’t find any for purchase at the bazaar. We do know that bathing suits are not banned.
7. Limit on the number of people allowed to celebrate a wedding: This rule is supposed to help families avoid going broke when throwing weddings for their daughters. No one that we spoke to could provide confirmation of weddings being raided by the attendance police. Could you imagine enforcing this law in the U.S…or India?
8. Abandon a car, go to prison: Drivers we spoke to from the Ice Cream Adventure Van said they were given only one piece of advice from the Mongol Rally organizers before they departed London for Ulaan Baatar: “Do not leave your car in Turkmenistan. Do everything you can to get it across the border, even if you have to push it or drag it. Otherwise, we may never see you again,” implying that prison or worse awaited perpetrators of orphaned vehicles.

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People of Turkmenistan, Best Of

A Taste of Turkmenistan

- Turkmen cuisine, from desserts to yurts

Turkmen Desertscapes

- mangy camels, desert truck stops, blazing Darvaza

Ancient and Silk Road Sites

Ashgabat, the City of Love

- Turkmenbashi’s warped vision comes alive

From the Caspian to Ashgabat

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The few clicks across the Caspian Sea brought us to a world of visual stimuli significantly different than that of the Caucasus (Georgia, Armenia, and Azerbaijan). This is what we’ve always envisioned when historians speak of the iconic Silk Road and the Orient.

What surprised us most and left a lasting impression are the Turkmen people – friendly, open, curious, and offering genuine smiles. Turkmen women in their colorful dresses, intricately embroidered necklines and vibrant head scarves seem to glide across the pavement with astonishing posture.

In Turkmenistan we visited ancient settlements (Gonur Depe, Nissa), medieval Silk Road cities (Merv, Konye-Urgench), modern pilgrimage sites, the surreal capital (Ashgabat) and the blazing and hell-like Darvaza gas crater. We spent hours crossing deserts and met many-a-camel along the way. It was a full ten days and will likely remain one of the highlights of our journey.

For those of you interested, now is the time to visit Turkmenistan. Tourism is barely on the uptick and the place and its people appear to be opening up, if only in small ways. The timing of our visit just six months after Turkmenbashi’s death was impeccable, even if unintended.

About this blog/book of ours, we’ve been on the move a lot and struggling to connect with very limited and unreliable (slow and censored) internet access. At points in Turkmenistan, clicks could take 15 minutes to conclude and we were certain that big brother was always watching. As a result, it’s been difficult to impossible to post the kind of content we’d like. So, stay tuned.

Originally posted on the Uncornered Market travel blog. Find beautiful travel photos from around the world. | 2 comments